For Death, For Soup

In my brief stint with the Judicial Service, I encountered two court clerks who had a special greeting: ‘Man suffers for death,’ to which the other would respond, ‘chickens suffer for soup.’

I interned with the Probate & Administration division of the High Court. For a court that dealt with a lot of posthumous affairs, it was the one workplace I felt and found so much life.

From My Lady (the judge), the court clerks and recorders, to my colleague interns and everyone I encountered, I thoroughly enjoyed my time there.

Now that I am older and infrequently entertain thoughts about death, I am inspired to live and be alive. To live fully and presently.

Between the applications for grant of probate/letters of administration, I had a fair idea of those who prepared for their deaths and those who did not.

I remember when My Lady would prompt counsel not to dishonor the dead by alleging the deceased had no personal effects. And there were those whose cases were stood down for property re-evaluation after they’d intentionally devalued the property so they’d pay less tax on it.

Okay that’s too much information. It was quite interesting the way events would unfold after a person’s death in court. There was this family where a son would not speak to the mother. For others, executors delayed in appearing/getting representatives. And then I remember one case where the whole family was finally present after a significant group of the family members had flown down from abroad to be present in court.

All this reminds me of one case where a judge stated in his judgment that the court would not rewrite a parent’s will in favor of a dissatisfied child if the child was not in the parent’s good books, and for that reason did not get a favorable property disposition.

While death is inevitable, the aftermath of one’s death is important. Significantly, you color your posthumous painting. Although I didn't know the deceased persons whose cases came up, I saw in that court that one’s true value and worth to their family members may only be honestly revealed posthumously. From animosity to love and everything in between, one could tell the surprises and rising sentiments after the deceased’s demise. For some cases, no one even showed up.

For some, I could give them the benefit of the doubt and say that while they cared about the aftermath of their deaths, their subsequent concern was about their souls and not the living. They were concerned about things above, and about returning to the Father. The living could and would figure it out.

Different cultures approach death differently. I once went for a gbonyo party (a party to celebrate the life of a deceased person), and it was such a classy party. I had such.a good time. I was fortunate to attend one of the series of parties to celebrate the deceased. We celebrated a Ga woman who had lived a full life.

And some funerals have been extremely sorrowful. I am not here to water down grief or the consequences of death. Do not get me wrong.

That said, please get a will. And, if you’re looking to get an inheritance, please don’t be surprised if your parent pulls a fast one on you. They may give all they own to charity.

It is great to be concerned about returning to God, but please write a will if you can. You wouldn't want your family dragging themselves in court over your legacy and property.

You can consider this free advice.