Show Me Your ID?

Lately I have been thinking about identity. Identity cards have information about an individual. Date of birth, age, nationality, residence, and that kind of stuff. Importantly, they have expiry dates. Regardless of its purpose, it has to be renewed from time to time.

Beyond that, I have found myself ruminating upon individual identities. What shapes us? How do we identify ourselves? By what metric do we measure our identity?

I have encountered several identity markers: ethnicity, nationality, religion (and denomination), gender, sex and sexuality, philosophical persuasions, family values, geographical location, alum status, profession, relationship and marital status, social systems, skin color, hair type, race, political affiliations and a plethora of others.

Some identity markers are assigned at birth, and for others, we get to choose. Some markers are tacitly chosen for us by our environment. Some identity markers are overwhelmingly obvious, while others require some explanation. Some are hidden in the ventricles of our hearts, occasionally slipping through our grasp. Some are mutable, while others are not. Some identity markers control the subconscious mind, while others stand firm in our consciousness. Some identity markers require a great deal of self awareness to identify, even within ourselves. On some days, it takes some reflection and truth to self to admit that some identity markers are fundamentally flawed. It doesn't matter that you might not have chosen the circumstances that led to that identity marker.

By deed and word, we reveal our identities everyday. Your favorite meals, fashion sense, spending style, ambitions, fears, aspirations, achievements, time usage, values, and attraction sense give a clue to who you are. Do you like to keep it simple or go grand? Your love language and pet peeves leave trails of who you are. Whether you’re a plant parent, pet parent or neither, one can get a sense of what matters to you and what doesn’t.

In this age of image, it doesn’t take much for a follower of your social media account to know your identity. Observing the kind of posts you like may be enough.

You made it this far? I’m glad. I hope you truly study yourself. If you don’t know how to go about it, I have a few suggestions. Who you are, what you are, whose you are and your why. These are great starting points.

The questions you so easily ask others and ask of others, begin to ask yourself those questions. Why do you behave the way you do? Why do you prefer A to B? It may surprise you what you find and who influenced it. Are you affectionate or do you expect people to read your mind?

As you spend time catching up with others, make time to catch up with yourself. Visit yourself. If you grew up in the photo album era, hand yourself the photo albums of your past memories and previous chapters. Point out the people you took those pictures with, and where you stood. Were you young? Were you older? Did you smile or look away from the camera? How did you pose?

Did a memory catch you off your guard? I hope the images you find explain your why. It’s alright if your identity markers do not easily come to you. Extend yourself some compassion; they’ll come to you.

And if there are parts of your ID you do not like, feel free to renew your ID. You’re not a slave to your old ID. When your ID passes your vibe check, feel free to share it with those you choose.

With restful wander, The Yellow Butterfly.